1. |
Paranoia 2.Oh
02:11
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{Lyrics: ~Spring 2010}
:: Reverse your brain : and unlearn your name
:: or from where you came : get distracted,
:: you 'f*cking bastard'>>
:: Yell at yourself : Retrace your steps
:: It's good for your health :
:: Analyze: It's paranoia...
"You might say...
...how could I have been such a fool?
Why could I not open up my eyes??
I am not the only one in the world."
::~~~~::
"Now I retract :: How could I have been such a fool?"
:: Yell at yourself : and retrace your steps
:: It's good for your health :
:: Analyze: It's paranoia...
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2. |
Close My Eyes x ∞
03:22
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{Lyrics: ~2012}
.:. Maybe it's time
to break through.
Out of control,
don't you know what I said? .:.
"I learned not to think of these things.
I let go..."
~I close my eyes one hundred times~
Forget my self, I just give in.
~~I close my eyes one thousand times~~
I'm emptied out and so wasted.
~~~I close my eyes one million times~~~
.:. .:. Slow fall from grace,
so cold I'm blanked out now.
Fucked up and aroused,
I'll never stand again? .:. .:.
"I can't watch the scenes of this film
we act out now..."
~I close my eyes one hundred times~
Forget my self, I just give in.
~~I close my eyes one thousand times~~
I'm emptied out and so wasted.
~~~I close my eyes one million times~~~
::~~~~::
.:. .:. .:. I'll sleep for now
And wake to confusion again
when I open my eyes
one more time .:. .:. .:.
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3. |
Everything / Finalized
00:52
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{Lyrics: ~2002}
.Everything I record is ones and zeros now.
..Everything I record is ones and zeros now..
...<<Digital effects placed in a row>>...
..Everything I record is ones and zeros now..
.Everything I record is ones and zeros now.
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4. |
STOP TALKING
04:03
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{Lyrics: 2012-06-16}
: Why can't we just stay
in the void of night?
I gave up anyway,
on the burning light.
I thought it would change,
fall apart and rearrange again.
(Cast me out and send me away
into some vacant place
where I can't see the mistakes that I've made,
because there's no truth to face.)
~I'm dreaming of the end of silence.
~~It's what I want, but I'll never find it.
~~~In a pointless world of false connections
~~~~I need to hear a harsh rejection,
...But all I get is cold silence...
:: Now we're out of time
with no more room to grow,
but I have to lie
as if you didn't know.
(Shut it out and hide it away
and forget what I said.
Save it for another day
and get out of my head.
Just let me rest...)
~I'm dreaming of the end of silence.
~~It's what I want, but I'll never find it.
~~~In a pointless world of false connections
~~~~I need to hear a harsh rejection,
...But all I get is complacency,
I need to know what you're thinking...
~I'm dreaming of the end of silence.
~~It's what I want, but I'll never find it.
~~~I'm dreaming of the end of silence...
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5. |
Double-Blind Date
01:42
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{Lyrics: 2002-02-02}
: I met myself in a dream one night.
We argued a bit, then got in a fight.
Naturally, I won...
A bet was placed on the battle royale
between God and Satan that happens right now.
We shook hands and never saw each other again.
:: All of these things don't correlate
unless in an elevated mental state
where explanations can relate
to this absurd double-blind date.
"I can't feel it
but I notice
that you subtract me
from failing in a circle again."
"I am lost,
I am dust,
I don't trust
cranio-carnal lust."
: The chess match was one of the very best,
the board was destroyed during the fest.
Naturally, I won...
The contest in which the dreams were done,
away from the iris you had spun.
You tread softly, I throw rocks politely at your feet.
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6. |
||||
{Lyrics: 2002 / 2012-11-13}
: Our tiny lives can be so dark
that I see their mark covering our art.
It's catching up with me, but I can't even see
the trap that I am falling into.
[It's over in an instant, cut off...
Good for a moment, then shut off.
Stop it now, it doesn't fit, total insignificance
falling in a sheet of exploding drops.]
:: Doors open, once locked...
I left so disappointed, totally shocked.
I saw your lifeless body in the echo of a dream.
Therapy smears all pain, but some wounds still remain.
[It's over in an instant, cut off...
Good for a moment, then shut off.
Stop it now, it doesn't fit... total insignificance
falling in a sheet of exploding drops.]
::~~~~::
::: Come back to the flashback, come back to it now.
Come back to the flashback, you can't escape it now...
[It's over in an instant, cut off...
Good for a moment, then shut off.
Stop it now, it doesn't fit, total insignificance
falling in a sheet of exploding drops.]
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7. |
Bed Of Nails
03:08
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{Lyrics: 2002-04-10}
: A glass of gold in a swarm of gum,
your tactile spaceship has grown some wings.
My birthless, breathless encounter
with few has amazed my shot glass
into thinking this one, and discounts,
two confronts you and yells at a drink.
For five as eight subtle guards scurry
home to your bed of nails.
[Confront me, vices:
It's lost you on salary.
Confront me, vices:
It's lost you on salary.]
::~~~~::
:: containing the flake of day
to breadcrumbs as become bedbugs.
A word sinks fast towards
ultimate airplanes.
There you are, away from here,
away from me in a sinking tourniquet.
A tournament for all three:
Uncover my bare bones to celebrate.
Uncover my bare bones to celebrate..
Uncover my bare bones to celebrate...
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8. |
My Mono Stayed
04:23
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{Lyrics ~2002-2012}
: The past was the past, a cycle of plays
that left me unstable, held tight to all ways.
By day I spent my money, by night I had to write
about the stupid light that I thought you danced inside.
So, out of ideas and into the hope
that I can upstage your wrath, your printed soul
prefixed into a habit (keeps forming), alarming things happen.
Chapters end but run out of ways to stay clever...
{My tether, my wage, my source of existential rage:
The thing that I crave, without it I am not the same,
I need it...
My addiction saves.}
::~~~~::
> To the half-dead gods of reckoning disorders:
Secrets, knowledge, guilt about reckless encounters.
Flung a shoe at the wall and displaced further doubt
of speculations unsaid and better left that way. <
:: Chopped off handsome plate,
crowned the king of unrequited lust.
Hop, skip, jump toward baggage further reflected on.
And though what you say may be golden
I cannot hear you anyway.
And though what you say may be golden
I cannot hear you anyway...
{My tether, my wage, my source of existential rage:
The thing that I crave, without it I am not the same,
I need it...
My addiction saves.}
::~~~~::
>> So true to the deceptive and the hopeless cons.
Toward guided counseling and out of your stare,
for this function of glare
to be inside of you. <<
::: The same hue for eyes to go blind to,
And the tune to not run to
is golden?
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9. |
Write Words
03:46
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{Lyrics: 2004-02-27}
(The magnifying glass burns) tiny holes
(in my once) translucent skin.
(I'm) turning (back the) pages (of this book),
(the) premise (is) growing thin.
(I'm) thinking of governing (a small place,
perhaps) a deserted island
(where the) rocks and the trees and the water
will give me the respect I demand.
"Slow down...
There's nothing else that you can do.
Write words:
convince yourself that they're true".
> The future is jumbled and red,
The past is gone and dead.
A\spiritual waste of time
awakens an unquiet mind.
The trainwreck is deceiving,
as stupid as only believing
the words that are wrapped up in hearts,
a believable sum of their parts.
To break down and kill your master:
A fantasy about disaster
conceived so that you can taste
a forbidden world of waste. <
::~~~~::
[This magnetic trance chills my blood
as I wait to make my escape.
The sounds resound in my mind as
the circuits and wires are raped.
The new machine will work wonders
if it ever arrives
to trample the little armies
and send notes home to their wives.]
"Slow down...
There's nothing else that you can do.
Write words:
convince yourself that they're true".
> The future is jumbled and red,
The past is gone and dead.
A\spiritual waste of time
awakens an unquiet mind.
The trainwreck is deceiving,
as stupid as only believing
the words that are wrapped up in hearts,
a believable sum of their parts.
To break down and kill your master:
A fantasy about disaster
conceived so that you can taste
a forbidden world of waste. <
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10. |
Blue Dream B-Side Me
03:10
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{Lyrics: ~2014}
: Don't trust your heart,
don't trust your art...
because they'll both turn to dust.
So trust your lust.
Push it so hard that you
~forget your faith,
~~take what you made,
~~~throw it away,
~~~~to find your escape.
[Intuition tells me to:
leave my place, flee from fear,
hide my face, close my ears.]
<It is not really anything you want to hear,
but it's still clear that:
~Love is real, until you kill
~~the lustful spell that you felt.
~~~It's not a lie until it dies,
~~~~and then in spite, the past is revised...>
~~~[::>~∞~<::]~~~
:: It's right to obsess,
to let it progress
and fill up your life,
since lust doesn't lie.
[Always running through my mind:
the thing you want most, without you're lost.
Hold onto it tight, no matter the cost.]
<It is not really anything you want to hear,
but it's still clear that:
~Love is real, until you kill
~~the lustful spell that you felt.
~~~It's not a lie until it dies,
~~~~and then in spite, the past is revised...>~~~
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11. |
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{Lyrics: ~2006-2011}
: The ozone and the centerfold
staying up way too long.
Entering a coma, pressed together.
Severed date, severely late
to the beginning of the end of raw splendor.
The electric shock of late night.
-Overloading my senses,
--entering a new dimension.
---Breaking through the haze of dreams.
::~~~~::
:: I don't know what all this means
awakening from a lengthy dream.
Last night seems so long ago,
severed friends the severe end.
Now our whole world revolves around sound,
the deafening din of late night.
-Overloading my senses,
--entering a new dimension.
---Breaking through the haze of dreams.
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12. |
Feedback Pop [7-6
01:29
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~{Instrumental}~
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13. |
Ground Connection
05:30
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{Lyrics: 2013-12-24}
: There's a state in my world that I visit sometimes.
No matter how real it seems, I know it's only in my mind.
But it's more real than this, this void of a world
where I live in disgust, and slowly grow more old.
Now the lust has decayed, I've forgotten that state,
so I must leave here now, in my dreams I find escape.
> Looking backwards on disaster,
falling into patterns I don't know how to recognize.
Bitter present, anti-future,
my view is distorted, empty distance in my eyes. <
~ Now I'm falling hard, gravity pulls me down.
~ A force I can't control brings me to the ground.
~ If I could just react for once in my life,
~ and stop pretending that I want to die...
::~~~~::
:: There's a spark in your eyes that's reflecting through mine
as a real feedback loop, connecting in our minds.
It's an intense desire that I thought would just die
as if I can't grow, and only live a lie.
But I feel better now, that my future's obscured,
and the spark in my eyes, it reflects back so pure.
>> Breathing through you, talking to you
thinking of nothing but the present with you.
Thinking to you, breathing through you
Letting fate take its course without looking back. <<
~ Now I'm falling hard, I can't believe my heart.
~ A force I can't control pushes me into your arms.
~ It's a feeling I know, an embrace from ages ago...
:: "I'm here with you now" - ∞ + [...] ::
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14. |
Higher-Est
03:48
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: Feelin' frisky, I'm all out of whiskey,
better call me a taxi cab.
Swollen tonsils, leaving New Braunfels,
as the rain, it stabs, it stabs.
~ Baby, nobody gets any higher ~
~~~~ Higher x 4 ~~~~
[When you try to picture it,
you start to lose control.
You really only can get higher
when you're learning rock and roll.]
This is our time - we have to dance last call, oh yeah!
~~ Baby, nobody gets any higher ~~
::~~~~::
:: Constantly curious, somewhat delirious,
suffering the plight of insomnia.
Obsessive romantic, not sycophantic,
whatever I do is alarming you.
~ Baby, nobody gets any higher ~
~~~~~~ Higher x 6 ~~~~~~
[As you get more horrified,
the feeling starts to grow.
In our burnt down Disneyland,
we sing this rock and roll.]
Shaking and laughing - as we achieve our goal, oh yeah!
~~ Baby, nobody gets any higher ~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~ Higher x 12!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~
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15. |
Million Year Trip
03:53
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{Lyrics: ~1999-2011}
: A voyage of a million years takes time,
and when you aren't moving, time takes its time
and ties your hands and bleeds your wounds,
takes your day and kills your Self.
<< "Oh, how I want out of here right now.
The sounds of my own laughter are so deafening.
But all I can do is:
sing my least favorite and my favorite songs,
over and over again...
So, what's the fucking point anyway?" >>
:: I bleed and I drown and
I'm cursed with a twin that can't exist
but as a cyst in my throat.
Miscarried, despairing, and lost inside a school.
Life is cruel, the phone pretends,
and you defend your fragile domain
and sign your name as you like.
So, what's a "Perfect 10"?***
*** "So, is there any point anyway?
The *secret* of your life
may be : reflected :
by your elegant decay...
So, ~bless~ the wretched mental state,
and never try to explain a thing.
Your dream self will be there providing
words for you to sing."
"So, what's a perfect 10 anyway??"
::~~~~::
::: And ties your hands
:: and bleeds your wounds
: and takes your day
and kills your Self
(what a perfect way to die
(what a perfect day to die
(what a perfect way to die)))
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16. |
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{Lyrics: 1999-10-08}
:: Heart deflector, alone:
: wooden head, bleeding eyes, and
withered wit and tarnished lies.
With facets faced with bitter taste
of thorn in side, and ears open
wide to sound alarm, to sound alarm,
to harm. I am to be alone
to frame a stare, to steal a glance,
to twist the lime, my time tastes
bitter on candy date, last candidate
[for war, for force, this farce is sparse
and lessens my lessons, enlarges
the lesions and heads eastwestsouthnorth:
all directions down to torn reflection.]
::~~~~::
:: of a heart deflected, alone:
weathered hind and binding blind, with
where who? and tampered ties with
faucets feigned with axis strike
inside the eyes closed to harm and
founding fathers resound alarm.
To stare at scars and lemon tar
torn glazed help with dying groom, with
room to lose and loss with louse in
heads all directions but up. A reflection,
a reflection
[for war, for force, this farce is sparse
and lessens my lessons, enlarges
the lesions and heads eastwestsouthnorth:
all directions down to torn reflection.]
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Instincto Records Texas
Austin, TX experimental label. Active since 2001, releasing handmade editions on CDr and Cassette.
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